Corrupt a wish V.2

Granted, but according to our shipping policy we can't send animals, so you get a fresh new batch of tea.

I wish for silence.

 

Granted, the world has no air.

I wish I could get gas for free.

 

granted, but you catch on fire
I wish that threads wouldn't sleep.

(the forums seem asleep actually.)

 

Granted, but my crappy reply is completely subpar to what you'd desired.

I wish I had the ability to always be clean.

 

Granted, but water in your shower/bathtub is full of dirt and bacteria,

I wish I can find true friend.

 

Granted, you get a friend who's kind and caring, who's always there for you in your time of need. You find yourself a true soulmate that you cherish every moment with. Unfortunately, your friend...

...Is Adolf Hitler.

I wish for a bagel.

 

Granted, looks tasty... but has bugs and worm in it as a surprise for you...

I wish to see ocean.

 

Granted. In fact, you get to swim in the ocean! With the latest in scuba diving gear: cement shoes! *Breathing mask sold separately.

I wish for FEESH.

 

Granted. They're silverfish.

I wish for WiFi that actually works.

 

Granted, but you downloaded memz

I wish for infinite talents.

 

Granted. They all have to do with your demise.

I wish to download CrossWorlds, a headset, controller, and an Avatar to play the game with!
Please don't give me Lea please don't give me Lea..

 

Granted. It's lea!
I wish star wars were real.

 

Celebrities now regularly declare war on and attack each other. Culture grinds to a halt and many are killed in the aftermaths.

I wish that it actually didn't matter who you are.

 

NOOOOOOOOO!

Uh.....? Well, it doesn't...
Granted. Nothing matters!

I wish for a better Avatar! Lea can go.. Do her own thing.

 

Granted, you get to be whoever you want to be, EXCEPT, you have to be one thousand of that same person, at the same time. Want to move forward? Sure, except you'll probably fall off a cliff hundreds of times in the process. Want to pick up an item? Only one of the many gets to use it. Want to climb a ladder? Good luck with that, I'll get the popcorn.

I wish for orange juice.

 

(You've heard of CrossCode, haven't you?)
Granted. It's colored orange, but i'm not sure what's in it..

Ugh, screw CrossWorlds. Stupid wishers.
I wish for Vah Ruta, Vah medoh, Vah Rudania, or any of the other Divine Beasts to be under my control. Also, I don't want to be killed by the blight ganons. Or link.

 

Granted... but first, you must tell my wish-granters, what kind of 'pets' are hidding behind these names. Also, granted. You survive the blight ganons (whatever they mean). But right after that, you was hit by meteor.

I wish for seventh season of Game of Thrones.

 

Granted, everyone dies in the first episode.

I wish for a better funny bone.

 

Granted. It now tastes of chocolate

I wish for chocolate and to not be ninja'd.

 

Granted, you're now Bonapon.

I wish for a lottery ticket.