Corrupt a wish V.2

~I give up.

 

sorry?

 

Granted! *Stab*

I wish @Jonathan01013 wasn't such a poor sport.

 

Granted. He is an infuriatingly good sport. Show some emotion already!

I wish for a sun-proof bacon cannon.

 

Granted. However, I was hungry, and I kinda ate it.

I wish for time to speed up.

 

Granted, you are instantly 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 years in the future.
You stare out into the blackness of nothingness.
You slowly die from your space suit running out of oxygen.
As you die you contemplate the meaning of life.
You conclude that life is meaningless without some sort of goal.
Then God picks you up and sends you back in time.
You are confused.

I wish I could die of a heart attack at the age 80.

 

Granted. However, you will be revived immediately afterwards.
I wish for an Ori of my own.

 

Granted, however you steal him before he finds Sein.
The forest dies. Then all life dies.

I wish that It was raining clocks.

 

Clocks fall out of the sky... On your face!

If I can't be a moogle... I wish to be a floran, and to design my new body beforehand.

 

Sadly you forgot to add the digestive system. You die in minutes after being created.

I wish all the floors in the world were lava.

 

Granted. However, you fall in the floor. You dummy.
I wish for a New Floran body, same as last time, with all the organs present. And also on a habitable planet.

 

The Planet is inhabited by giant worms!
They are very carnivorous, and they chase you the whole 7 days of your life before you accidentally trip off a cliff and fall to your doom.

I wish that the universe was made of mirrors.

 

And then you break them. 9346175610670284679 Years of bad luck inbound.
I wish for shapeshifting abilities.

 

You can shape-shift into a slightly leafier copy of yourself. (then you burst into flame)

I wish I had a real teleport pad.

 

Granted, it teleports you to a random place on Earth every time you use it! Allow me to tell you how much of earth's surface area is in unsurvivable conditions! Like Australia!

I wish for a sword.

 

Granted, it's a cursed sword that slowly drains you of life.

I want a cookie.

 

Granted, but cookie monster has to deliver it to you.

I wish that Arda was real.

 

granted but Adventist Development and Relief Agency is already real (sorry I couldn't find the adra you were talking about)

I wish I knew what happend after death

 

Granted. You die! Now you know.
I wish for the ability to change race at will. (To any SB vanilla or modded race.)

 

Granted, but SB stands for Space Battles, not Starbound.

I wish I had more willpower.