[Funny Short List] Future clone of me gets banned from planets

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Iaeyan Elyuex, Dec 11, 2016.

  1. Iaeyan Elyuex

    Iaeyan Elyuex Cosmic Narwhal

    Being a perfect genetic copy of me, Ian 19-EC also has Asperger's. I don't know if this is typical for the disorder, but I get ornery without my meds. My judgement goes right out the window. This clone of me is no different. Shortly after meeting up with Malli the Avian, his pills ran out. The only pharmacy that made them was on Earth. 19-EC spent the next few days suffering withdrawal, where he would have "brownouts" in his brain (this actually happens to me when I miss my pills 2 days in a row), then he came slightly unhinged. He didn't go kill-crazy, he was just a loopazany. He can pull himself together, but he really has to try. His lack of judgement has gotten him in trouble, along with his gross misunderstanding of interstellar customs. He has actually been banned from returning to some planets.
    By the way, there was actually a time when I would probably have done some of these things. Up until I was like 15, I had problems.

    Shenanigans Ian 19-EC has been banned from planets for:


    Peeing in a Hylotl water feature thinking it was a toilet

    Wearing a Greenfinger headdress in a Floran village. The headdress belonged to the actual Greenfinger there.

    Accidentally shooting a Glitch king's pet lizardmonkey thing

    Painting a bunny rabbit on a Stargazer worship building

    Hugging an Avali without heat differential protection. The Avali was hospitalized for three months.

    Hugging too many people in an Avian village

    Hugging too many people in a Fenerox village

    Hugging too many people in a Felin village

    Trying to see how many leaves he could stick to a Slime person without being noticed

    Trying to touch every Floran in a village to find out what their skin's texture was like

    Offering a Hylotl city's governor a poisonous fish

    Filling a Stargazer worship site with rabbits

    Accidentally sending a Glitch dignitary to a sewer

    Challenging a Novakid sheriff to a water gun showdown

    Singing "Down with Big Ape" in a Miniknog-controlled Apex city

    Hitting on an Avian official that had come to a Hylotl meeting, while crashing said meeting.

    Eating an Agaran's sporeling thinking it was just another mushroom

    Putting sewage on a human village's crops thinking that would make them grow faster

    Impersonating a Stargazer priest to get into a party because he heard there would be cake. Apparently his mask was convincing enough until he tried to eat the cake.

    Spear fishing in a protected Hylotl fish conservation ground. He didn't read the sign.

    Entering a sacred Hylotl silence monastery and playing "Through the Fire and Flames" on his Lead Guitar

    Playing the Bunnyhop on his Lead Guitar at a Stargazer worship service. The Avians didn't know what the song meant, but it was still interrupting their prayers.

    Entering without permission into a house in a Floran village and walking in on two Florans who were... um... rubbing. Yes.
     
    ButNobodyCame likes this.

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