The title isn't supposed to make sense: this is a thread for the most wild, weirdest, fakest theories of them all. I have one aready! Spies, plans, Half-Life, oh my! To me, something about Gus always felt.. odd. But I cracked the code: he is a spy, sent by JoJo corp to learn about the citizens of Pelican town. What better role to fill, but bartender? He listens into citizens conversations and such. Every night, when the saloon closes, he sneaks out and reports to not Morris, but the FOUNDER of JoJo. The one, the only, Guyinthebackofsandysshop. That's his name. Did I mention Qi is in this too? The casino itself, is actually a hidden base. Jojo took a page out of team rockets book for that one. Stowed away in floor 20000 of the skull cavern, is a missile. Qi pays you to reach floor 25 so you don't go deeper, but you DO. He decides the only way to keep the missile a secret, is to off you. Ever wondered why JoJo wanted to take over pelican town? Easy. If you live near it, having more control will make it easy to murder you. To murder you, they need a way that won't get them caught: deadly neurotoxins. Who is supplying them with neurotoxin, you ask? GLaDOS, duh. The Stardew world is post-apoctalyptic. After the combine were killed off by JoJo corp, they tried to become the leaders of the world. Aperture Science was untouched, but they partnered with Jojo after they proposed to build thousands of robot test subjects, so GLaDOS would always feel like she was chewing 5-gum. So, JoJo is trying to pump in neurotoxin into your house: but you have a galaxy sword. That thing could cut through anything, really. Even gas somehow. So they need to steal it, but how? Easy! Summon David, Abigals pet. Because of his small size, he could infiltrate your house and steal the sword when you were sleeping. All players married to Abigal know that somehow David lives in your house and Pierries. Thats because JoJo cloned him! With you finally out of the picture, JoJo will conquer all. You are the last hope. Go get em, soldier. Er, farmer. I am interested in yours! They don't have to be this long, don't worry.
Creative, but I sure hope this is false. Something about Gus always rubbed me the wrong way, I gotta admit.
My thoughts and others. http://community.playstarbound.com/threads/joja-corporation-conspiracies.132538/
