Can you do me a favour?

I would, but it exploded when I picked it up... So I've got a mess to clean up.

Do me a favour and pass me the paper towels.

 

I would, but Uni gave me a paper allergy.

Do me a favor and get me some pickled cucumbers.

 

I would, but all I've got is picked cabbage; or should I say, sauerkraut.

Do me a favour and help me with these jughands!

 

I would but I'm too busy giving you that face..

Do me a solid and bring the dinosaurs back from extinction.

 

I would, but my stories would probably keep you up at night.

Do me a favour, and help me eat all these oranges.

 

I would but I have a small pink dinosaur on my back smacking me with a frying pan and yelling "Not the momma!" At me...

Do me a favor and give me all your money..

 

I would, but I don't have any money myself.

Do me a favor and make me less tired.

 

I would, but I drank it all. I'm going to regret this in the morning...

Do me a favour, and get me a hangover cure.

 

Ah...errr...well you seeeee, I'mmm too drernk to....help you.

Do me a favour and get me some fries.

 

I would, but I used all the potatos to make vodka.

Do me a favor and make me not feel in pain.

 

I would, but it would involve shorting out your central nervous system, and probably kill you.

Do me favour and flip this table => ┬─┬

 

I would but I'm too lazy to figure out how to make that list of symbols..

Do me a favor and tell me what is the difference between favor and favour.

 

I would, but that will involve explaining proper English spelling to you Yankees.

Do me a favour and build the 'device'.

 

I would, but the parts are over there.

Do me a favour and get them for me.

 

I would, but unfortunately I am a sandwich man, I can't condone any un authorised sandwich construction.

Do me a favour and find me a book.

 

I would, but that would perpetuate your cycle of laziness and ultimately make you unable to function as an adult human being.

Do me a favour and defeat ISIS.