Chucklefish Clash - Christmas Special

Do you know what I reminds me of?

"Watch out! A pOIsonous novakid!"

 

Please don't kill me. I just want to win.

 

May the Force be ever in your odds

 

I SWEAR TO THE SEVENTH BABY CABBAGE HAM I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU AND EAT YOUR LEFT LEGS!!!!!

*ahem*

Sorry, I go loopy when I enter a bloodlust.

 

!uoy rof niw og ll'I nruter ni dna dellik sevlesruoy teg lla syug uoy tuoba woH !esimorpmoc a ,smelborp rou lla ot noitulos a htiw pu emoc ev'I kniht I

 

I forgot this was meant to be Christmas themed!
​

Uhh K. K. Slider receives a CHRISTMAS GIFT from our CHRISTMASY SPONSOR, Nos! Yeah, remember that meme? At least the chill air will keep the Nos cool and refreshing. Pan and Nib (Team Panib), those two love turtle doves, hunt for other tributes while the other Pangea hurts her teeth by eating too cold snow. But she's not stopping. Oh no, I think this one popped out of the tear in the fabric of reality too soon. But anyway, Tlactl hides from a purple dragon in a pear tree. See? I can still salvage this theme! DMG and Sir Djack (Team Sir DMG) also hunt for others but I already used my turtle dove joke so let's ignore them. In other news, Mr. Bones bashes the eel's head in with a candy cane while he was fishing, triumphantly screaming, "SHOCKING, EH? YOU WOULD'VE NEVER GUESSED I HAD A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU! EEL GO AFTER YOUR BUDDY NET NEUTRALITY NEXT!" And right on cue, Net Neutrality receives some bombs. This is going to be one explosive fight, eh? I'll go home. In other news, Witch's Witch Brew has betrayed him and went off with a gang to hunt! But no worries, Witch will brew up a new batch with the fresh water he received, he just hopes this one doesn't gain sentience too. Waffle is feeling a little undercooked and so asks Fire to cook 'em a bit more but he refuses, what an ass!

Two people diiiiiiied!

and a few more are gonna die toooo!
​

Like the Skeleton dude but he's already dead so he kinda just passes out. Pan passed out too but was awoken by a nightmare where she was talking to a creepy clown and a phallic purple thing about tomorrow. The D Man Djack starts a fire and the fire starts humming quietly and DMG is so spooked she leaves and holds hands with Nib, betraying Team Sir DMG and ruining the trust of Team Panib in the process, the fiend! Tyle looks at the night sky and is frankly horrified by the indescribable void that gazed back at 'em. Harlod runs into the runaway Brew and makes a truce with it, not the weirdest thing he did today while K K almost freezes to death because the only fire is too busy humming with Djack. And the author just realised he could've turned this all into a rhyme in the tune of "The Night Before Christmas".

 

Hey tlactl, we are cool, right? You don't want to kill me, right?

 

I don't want to kill anyone, actually.

 

I if I kill fire or vice versa I'm gonna be sad.

 

I can communicate with fire, my problem is that it might not listen. Fire is wild.

 

"yet"

 

I can't wait for the episode where Pangaea kills Pangaea.

 

I got WitchCat covered!

 

It's almost new yeaaaaaaaaaarssss...
​

As time trudges along quietly to the tune of screaming bodies being mutilated viciously by unnervingly colourful characters, the distinctive Christmas cheer that surrounded the place seems to have disappeared. The trees have been taken down, the fake acid snow replaced with real acid rain, everything seems to have reverted back to normal, it feels like the first ever Clash all over again. Oh but that weird rip in the literal fabric of the universe is still there which is causing Pan to question her sanity as she sees herself raiding Tyle's camp for some wild accusations of being mean to be a clown. Nib and Tlac team up to and use their SUPER BIRD POWERS to hide in the trees, they see the rip too and begin questioning their own sanity also. In fact, everybody and everything started going mad! Well, not all in the same way. While random gift wrapped gifts materialised in front of Witch and A One Horse Open Sleigh, Harold suddenly felt a slingshot form in his pocket. Witch's Brew saw a bow and arrow form in front of it and it reached out his slithering, potion-y tentacles to grab a hold of it and started practising. Some people went into fits of insanity and started attacking everyone around them. Like Djack and Fire who tried to take down Ice, now seeing as D and Fire are being of flame going up against ice, it didn't end up well for them obviously. the Purple Dragon tried killing K K but snapped out of his fit, letting K K escape. And in the distance, Cutesy hears Mr. Bones talking to Net Neutrality.. Hmm.. *FLASH BACK NOISES*

"I'LL KILL YOUR BUDDY NET NEUTRALITY NEXT!" Mr. Bones said in a very flashbacky way as he caved in the Eel's skull.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN

Dos time even exist anymore?
​

A day passed? Two days? Wait how? Shit, fine, we'll just tell them it's the fourth day. Nothing is real anyway, doesn't matter what we tell them.

On the fooooourth day of KRISMA my true love gave to the tributes... nightmares! So no one really sleeps tonight. Pan tries to sing herself to sleep but she keeps getting visions of herself blowing up DMG and Tyle and so is unable to rest. But is it really only a vision? Cutesy is there singing too which probably isn't helping. Just don't stare and he'll leave. Waffle gets lucky and one of the presents gets summoned in front of him too! Witch's Brew is starting to thicken and clump together as the brew cools and it tries desperately to start a fire with the chlorine trifluoride someone threw in but refuses to ask for help, mostly because no one was around. Everyone set aside their differences for the night and huddled together to sleep in shifts. Some give up trying to sleep and just tell each other ghost stories. Purple Dragon eventually splinters off from the group and sets up camp alone, goddamn anti-social dragons.

Frozen Water and Harold leave too eventually but for a... different reason.

"Ice-Kun, please, listen to me-"

"No Harold Senpai! You know we can't be together!" Frozen Water's icy words struck Harold deep as he reached out his wrinkled hand towards him, "Frozen, baka, listen-"

"You are of life, of warmth and living, and I of chill and death," Frozen Water interrupted as he looked away, squeezing his eyes shut as small ice crystals formed at his nonexistent eyelids, "We would destroy each other!" Frozen Water bawled at the old man. Long, thin icicles began protruding out of his eyes as he "cried", extending into the air like the fine nipples of a Persian man on a cool, autumn morning in the year 2008 on vacation in Michigan. Frozen Water felt Harold's once strong now arthritic ridden arms wrap around Frozen's sculpted body, "Listen to me," Harold began as Frozen's cries stifled into choked sobs, "Soon I shall be dead and my body shall be stolen of all its warmth, and then it shall be only you and I, for now and forever."

And there they spent the night, in each other's cold, loving embrace.

WELL THAT WAS WEIRD NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN G'NIGHT FOLKS.

 

That was... a strange night. It was cool. As in cold. I think the ice tears are stabbing me.

 

Aah, you butts! Stealing my stuff AND blowing me into tiny bits? NO MORE STARBOUND COMIC STRIPS THIS YEAR!
How many days until 2017 ends again?

 

What about in 2 days when it's next year?

 

WHAT THE SHIT WITCHCAT?!?!??

 

I sometimes cannot explain my poetry. Calliope whispers her sweet songs to me and I merely copy her glorious symphony of words.