Corrupt a wish V.2

Granted. There are about a hundred times more.

I wish I have a cute cat following me all the time and anywhere I go.

 

Granted, but you constantly keep tripping over it.

I wish my existence was worth something.

 

Granted. You get real ones which are aggressive and try to eat you.

I wish for more arrows

 

Granted, you get shot in the head with a bow, because you're late.

I wish it was easier to get this color on my posts here.

 

Granted. It is now too easy, and it swiftly falls into the hands of criminals.

I wish the months of july and august were 90 days long

 

granted, but so are all other months, meaning Earth is in a further orbit and much, much colder

I wish I had someone to play Dokapon with

 

Granted, but they die immediately after the first game.

I wish someone would shoot me in the head and instantly kill me.

 

Granted. A hunter shot you in the head, with a rubber band.

I wish I have an Aegi crew.

 

Wish granted but Asians steal them all from you with super smart Asian-y things that only Asians understand.

I wish for a steel grille to be welded to the cushion of a chair.

 

Granted. The cushion catches fire and burns your house down because you can’t Weld metal to cushion fabric

I wish that my bus would come on time

 

Granted, but that one time where bus would come on time, would have engine problems, and you would be stranded for at least an hour or two at the same place with a random earthquake that will ruin your bus stop altogether. You will also have a leg injury because you tripped after.

I wish to be able to telepathically talk to cockroaches and ruin someone's day with it.

 

granted, except you can only ruin your own

I wish for invisibility I have the ability to toggle and do not need to take of clothes or anything like that

 

Granted. You are invisible to yourself.

I wish the National Examination is postponed.

 

Granted, it's rescheduled to be at the most inconvenient time for you.

I wish my head didn't hurt.

 

Granted. The pain has been relocated to your spleen.

I wish I could forget any bad memory I want.

 

granted. having forgotten some of your most embarassing mistakes, you also forget the lessons you learned from them, eventually leading you to repeat (and subsequently forget) the same mistakes over and over, embarassing yourself further.

i wish for cookies.

 

Granted. It turns out to be an eraser though.

I wish I have a cat-fish. I mean literally. A hybrid of a cat and a fish. So it's like a fish that has a face of cat, with fluffy furs on their body.

 

granted. you got catfished though

I wish I was making more money

 

Wish granted but you're now surrounded by stupid people as a result of the additional money. Enjoy slowly going insane and your patience dissolving into dust, as a result of the newly bred idiocy around you!

I wish for a banana.

 

Granted. But suddenly a horde of minions come chasing you.

I wish I meet Nuru.