Server Help extreme lag for steam multiplayer.

I just got into starbound after buying into the beta and playing it for a while. There is now a multiplayer function to it and when I try yo play with my husband, either we both experience extremes lag or just he does, to the point where he's frozen within an action for nearly 5 seconds or more. I have looked around to try and find a solution to it and outside of going into things like port forwarding and such, there doesn't seem to be a way to fix this. I don't want to start screwing around with my modem or this whole port forwarding nonsense. Is there a fix for this, or is this something steam related. I just want to be able to play with him without having such a massive amount of lag. Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

Have you got any mods installed?
If so, that may be the problem as it was for me.

 

I have the same and I have tons of mods. I haven't tried looking into it deeply though.

If I was going to try and troubleshoot the thing I would do is the following.
Establish a baseline by doing the following.
1. Remove all mods.
2. Setup performance gathering. Windows Performance Monitor is a free way to do this. https://onlinehelp.tableau.com/current/server/en-us/perf_collect_perfmon.htm
3. Setup performance monitoring on the network as well.
4. Test the network between you and your husband using something like http://nutsaboutnets.com/netstress/

Put the mods back on and run the tests again and see what changes.

If it is not mods but the base game, you can take that performance data and open a ticket to chucklefish. The additional data should help them greatly to do something about it.