Story The Chronicles of Bustow

Hey guys! I've noticed that I've gotten a few views, but no feedback! Tell me what you think! What do you like? What don't you like? Criticism is encouraged too! Thanks!

 

moar screenshots!

for actual criticism, it's a pretty good start, but there's some mood changes that i think you should address more. you were on fire! surely you'd be annoyed by that.
also if it's gonna be a journal, i feel like you'd have included some more... informal aspects. idioms? thoughts? jokes? swears? idk, i don't write lol
but other than that, it's good!

 

Thanks for the comments! I do have some screenshots, for example the Glitch/Apex houses, that I'll post later on in the story.

 

It is quite good. Maybe a back-story on who the protagonist is (which race etc)?

 

Thanks!

 

Hello everybody. I have an announcment regarding the schedule. From now on, I'll try to update this at least every other day.

 

Good news! The "Chronicles of Bustow" has been viewed by ninety-one forum members! Only nine more views until one hundred!

 

I'd say try to flesh things out more. And I personally feel that the pictures kinda ruin the feeling of the journal entries. @Jonesy wrote a pretty good journal, maybe work yours to something similar?

 

Entries 14-16 are out! Enjoy!

 

Wait… Are these written files or audio files?

 

Hmm. I've never thought about that. They're supposed to be written, which makes more sense, but some parts do seem like they could be audio (for example entry # 15). I'll try to make that more clear in the future.

 

I'd say to go down the audio route. A lot of entries sound like he's talking into a little recorder box.

 

Hi again! No new entries today, but I did make a few changes to the beginning so that it's a little bit clearer as to what he's recording this on. There will be another entry (or entries) tomorrow!

 

Entry #17 is out!

 

Entry #18 is out as well!

 

Well I know thing for sure is that the "Minikong" is nothing but a bunch of douches.......

 

Entries 19 and 20 are out!

 

Entries #21-24 are out. They're pretty short, but if you read them slowly they'll seem longer!

 

Entries 25 and 26 are out!