NPC Venderions

Discussion in 'NPCs and Creatures' started by PekingDuck, Aug 26, 2012.

  1. PekingDuck

    PekingDuck Void-Bound Voyager

    The Venderions are clouds of sentient ionized gas that emulate the behaviour of human telemarketers, internet banners, and door to door salesmen. In game, they may unexpectedly appear as NPC's who will sell you various goods or services without prior notice, although these things are frequently junk. They also have a knack for showing up at inconvenient times, for example, during heated combat, while talking to other NPC's, or doing anything important. Once you have engaged them in conversation, it is difficult to get them to go away.

    The Venderion homeworld is a gas giant, too cold and empty to support carbon based life forms. The Venderions began as a muddled consciousness of semi-intelligent charged particles. The race only began to evolve after their planet was bombarded with data transmissions broadcasted from distant human civilizations. The Venderion homeworld was never the intended target of these broadcasts. It only happened to be within the path of these transmissions after decades of these signals echoing aimlessly through space. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the majority of data transmissions sent across our universe are unsolicited advertising. In other words, spam. Thus, Venderion thought patterns and society began to crystalize around the ideals of telemarketing. The Venderion intelligence is profoundly obsessed with peddling useless products and services to unsuspecting races the entire universe over.

    Being incorporeal, the Venderions are able to survive in space unassisted, and can move at great speed by riding data transmissions through the ether of space, or sending themselves through information networks as electronic signals.

    The Venderion approach to space exploration is different than the approach used by most physical life forms. Requiring neither sustenance nor shelter, the Venderion have no need for buildings, cities or planetary colonisation. Their primary objectives in space exploration, and indeed, the purpose of their existence, is to reach an ever broader market for their aggressive marketing tactics, grouping wherever there are people or wherever there are abundant network connections. They are relentless explorers, and never settle in one place. They are always looking for new customers and suppliers. They are notorious for inherently knowing when to call just as you sit down for dinner.

    Venderions are known to proffer:
    Mail order brides from Xchorsxsta-7.
    Allegedly free cruise vacations to the pristine plasma beaches of New Cancunia.
    Dubious supplements containing samples of only the rarest and most endangered space-fauna.
    And millions of other things of questionable quality.

    The Venderions are impervious to physical weapons, but susceptible to plasma weapons, solar flares, strong magnetic fields, other electronic interference, and asking to speak to their manager.

    Although annoying, the Venderions are extremely knowledgeable about almost all alien languages and cultures. They also have an extensive knowledge of universal astrography and navigation. In their exploits, they have encountered races unseen by humans and other advanced species, and have visited corners of the galaxy untouched by any salesmen before them, or indeed, any sentient beings at all. If asked, they may provide you with valuable information regarding these topics, but it is likely you will have to buy something from them first.
     
    Half-Mod35 and Bombzero like this.
  2. Bombzero

    Bombzero Giant Laser Beams

    Funny idea, I like it, though it may get a little annoying if these things were too frequent.
     
  3. PekingDuck

    PekingDuck Void-Bound Voyager

    Just like real life!
     
    Bombzero likes this.
  4. PekingDuck

    PekingDuck Void-Bound Voyager

    It's worth noting that the name Venderion is a semi-portmanteau of the words "Vendor" and "Ion".
     

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