Story {CHPT 17}TALE OF AN AVALI WARRIOR

not really, but in my opinion you should add in the Ryos School time to add more character to Ryos and such, but if you can't make up the School time, it's k, just move past that if you need to, but that's just me ^w^

 

I think it might be useful to have maybe one or two in his school day buts thats just me

 

13 is really good so far! tho i found a spelling error close to the end, you mispelled "Him", it's on the line of
"
“Hi dad!” He says as he hugs hmi. His dad hugs him back.
"

 

oh thx!

 

you are welcome! i just saw it while reading and it bothered me

 

if anyone is still Reading, Chapter 15 is out

 

I only came across this yesterday, but im already excited for more! Please keep going with it since im really enjoying it thus far.

 

Please dont tell me its dead

 

dont worry its not .I m working on chpt 16.

 

Well that comment alone just made my day! Thank you for not giving up yet, cant wait to see this finished.

 

Wow, chapter 16 is really cool!

 

thx!

 

Great chapter! Loved reading it!

 

Thank you!

 

its been quite a while, any updates?

 

sorry for late reply, but yes i have been writing on chapter 17, and are planning to release it in a day or two, sorry for no news, i forget to check the forums

 

Wew!

'Tis alright! It happens to a lot of us!
(Which is why I have my notifications emailed to me >.<)

 

I dont know how the notifications system works, so I dont know if you get a message when i update. anyway, chapter 17 is out, feedback is appreciated!

 

Woot!
I'll get around to reading it when I can!

 

Well, i only got the message now. I like it.